Cle@r!nG @w@y ThE CoBwEb$...!!

Ever seen a spider making its cobweb to catch is prey? How meticulously it does the job with so much of intricacy!! There are so many cobwebs we humans create around ourselves-of emotions..of expectations.. of guilt.. of revenge..and the list goes on and on! 

Life and its trajectory- how unpredictable! We come alone.. we go alone.. and amidst of all.. we try to act human!! :P  Our expectations grow.. our infancy dies.. values disintegrate..enemies accumulate..  friends become foe..they bring us woe.. life is iffy..because decisions are taken in a jiffy.. facebook is the emotional carrier..just look at our communication barriers!! Truly..the tech-savvy world has united many brains..but divided so many hearts!

We love being hypocrites. The stigma of being called so no longer bothers us because we have made it our way of life. All of us have tried out addition, subtraction, multiplication but never cared to try “simplification”! We are getting submerged in a ghastly cobweb and coming out of which would be an arduous task.

We have always expressed our anguish, fears, demands, expectations.. but how often have we expressed our gratitude, appreciation, genuine appraisals for someone? We expect..never give.. we refuse..never regret.. we complain..never solve.. we blame..never accept..!! To err is human..we all know then why not accept gracefully? Why saying “sorry” is so sordid afterall? A little introspection would give all answers. If a life is lived with such pretence..it is not worth living for.

Everyone is in pursuit of something but always besieged by predicaments. Our goals are vague and so is our approach. Trying to be different is making us all the same! The ambiguity within is mortifying our own conscience. It’s high time that we take a charge of our own self- else once lost we would never be able to find our true self again!

"मंजिल ढूंढते ढूंढते खुद को ना खो लेना...

बंधन तोड़ कर सारे सबको ना रुला देना...

ज़िन्दगी तो नाम है यूँ जीने का..

ग़म को भूल कर खुशियों को अपनाने का..

कुछ खो कर कुछ पा लेना... 

खुद भी हँसना.. थोड़ा दूसरों को भी हँसा देना..!!"

~PR!Y@NK@..

If eyes could speak!!

If you could read my eyes..

some things you would definitely know

a window to my heart

it would reflect all - that i couldn't show..

for my eyes have dreams..

I know they would never turn true

still they always  gaze and

find solace in you..!

Eyes never lie..

deep inside they cry

your presence produces the spark

inside- all emotions are dry

Tears never roll down..

they are afraid to see u suffer

they glitter all day long

strong enough to act as a buffer

Only if my eyes could speak

I am afraid they would  reveal it all..

so it's important now i stand tall

and not let emotions take the peak..!

~pr!y@nk@ 

A Letter to Life..

Dear Life,

    Why are you so "unpredictable"? Why do you have no "guarantee" and "warranty"? You have a "manufacturing date" but no information about "expiry"? You are a blessing to some..but why not to all? You are you born challenged ? I searched on "google"..it blamed the internet connection because it didn't had an apt answer...haha...

You are the most sought-after topic that people of all ages discuss the most! You are simple, yet at times difficult to comprehend. Why are we so serious about you? You are mortal but people always have the hope of bettering you. You are a saga of unending emotions-fun, frolic, sorrow, laughter, guilt, remorse, success, failure. At times, you are the greatest celebration and sometimes the biggest regret! When you are born, you bring in happiness that knows no bounds..when you die..you kill many others silently! 

        You are a treasure..also you are a tyrant..you tamper..also you pamper..you are a mystery..in scinece you can be limited to DNA, chromosomes..but beyond science your deepest secrets are hard to unfold! You make us..You break us..Your lessons are worth-remembering..

        Can you just tell me how do you maintain so much of variety in you? How have you managed to gain mastery in all the emotions of the world? Is it true that you have strong tie-ups with the Almighty? Do you actually conspire with the Universe to fulfill our desires? Why do you sometimes imbibe in you the feelings of hatred,treachery,altruism? Do we pay for what we do to you? When the earth orphans you, do you really go to hell or heaven?  Can you describe the conditions at hell and heaven? Is it true that if it's not good..it's not the end?

      I would be so obliged if you could answer all my queries..Looking for an early and prompt reponse..

                                                                                                                                                                           Yours sincerely,

                                                                                                                                                                            A life-seeker

P.S  somehow you are precious..We love to live you!! Also kindly send me your postal address with pincode if exists.. until then let it      remain posted to my wall..!! :p ;)

BEING HONEST TO HONESTY!

Most amazing emotions of this world are expressed in words which we type, but never dare to send! So true! Life would have been much better had I been a little more honest to myself. Our heart is the biggest cheater in the world and our conscience is no less. Our heart has all the solutions to our queries..but somehow we prefer to be ignorant- at least  I do so. Probably because like anybody on earth I want to seek a better answer in someone else’s advice, in someone else’s care, always dependent that someone will hold when I fall but some things in life are just virtual, only good to imagine..they never exist..they are just to console ourselves! It’s a truth and hard to accept.

Years ago, as a lonely child..though sad and depressed.. I was a better human being because I never lied to myself. I remained isolated from others because I couldn’t be what I was not! But now.. I say things to people I don’t actually mean but  just to make them happy, I smile when I don’t want to, I pretend to be happy, I never say what I genuinely feel, I dislike things but never mention because it will hurt! I miss being “ME”. I have become a hypocrite and I have learnt to hide my pains and anxieties from my mom! Amazing me!!

Everywhere I see are people mastering “the art of flattery”-if u can’t make it, just fake it! How amazingly they lead a life with dual faces-with apathy and no regrets. Not that I m a person without any flaw, but such a living isn’t making me happy either! When you try to care-its interference, when you ask-you are being suspicious, when you are quiet- you are an introvert or proud, when you speak straight from the heart- you are mouthy, when you don’t reciprocate a favour-you are selfish, when you are a girl-it’s presumed that you ought to be jealous! And when you are strong, some people take it as a licence to hurt!

This excerpt is not to say ‘you are wrong and I am right’! Of course, you and I together make the world. But I wish people accepted the truth more open-heartedly, knowing each-other’s flaws would have been much easier! 

My life is my own

 Who should hold the key?

I question myself

And realise that it isn’t “me”!

It hurts to be unreal

 More when you know

And as Time passes by

I will reap what I sow

An unknown fear engulfs me now

And there’s a quest - why and how?

All I know is-

I want to be a child again

I want to laugh and cry aloud

And not get lost in the crowd

I want to rejoice not to gain

Just to be happy and enjoy again

I want to be a soul where no hypocrisy dwells

My smile isn’t fake and my cries’ real!

I wish I had not grown beyond an age

And was not a part of all this rage

I know I have a zest for life

So why be involved in usual rifes?

I don’t glitter for I am not gold

Nor do I want to conquer the world

All I want is to live a life worthy of living

Where I am content with my own “being”

Where my soul can rest in peace when I perish

And I leave others with lots of memories to cherish!

~pr!y@nk@

CURSE..CRUSH..CRASH!!! ;)

DISCLAIMER:- this blog is especially dedicated to all chikni chamelis (no figure bias..though because the one writing is not "chikni" anymore either!! )...Anyone reading can relate to it..irrespective of caste, creed, gender and religion...p.s.relationship status!;)

Well..no one can compete girls when it comes to melodrama..we are born with this natural talent! Even when the issue is petty, we can create a sensation out of it..if desired! Every girl has a "Rakhi Sawant" inbuilt within her..which only needs to be ignited!

When things go the either way round..no one can match our "CURSING" abilities..true isn't it? Kareena Kapoor In Ra.One (i wasted 350 bucks and a weekend on this movie..this guilt wil haunt me till my last breath..oops am i about  to curse! :p) had inspired me exponentially!! ( Remember tere tau ka poda..tere bhai ka bhokhra..all can actually enhance our "Art of Cursing"! :p ) I wonder how beautifully and elegantly we have nurtured this art and with experience and time..more and more people have witnessed and fallen prey to our talent! At some point of life or some phase of life..most women resort to mostly cursing themselves for being a woman..reasons?? society..family pressure-first the father, then the husband and at old age-the children.Yes we are big chatterbox... at times we do put restrictions on a man's freedom of right..we are jealous.. bossy .. but then emotionally we are the most exploited!! Cursing is the last refuge we can take..!! ;) Whoa! Thinking different helps you justify things more easily than you actually think.. :D

Girly gossip? Nno conversation can match its aura and standard-from fashion to food.. from guys to their bank balances.. from bitching to faking.. from love to break-ups.. and advice-asked or not asked..is always given and p.s.free of cost!! Truly, hell can't bear us..heaven can't afford us..ha ha. One of the most featured discussion is about "CRUSHES"-special mention-1st crush! In many instances, i thought i am a challenged child because my system never had a crush on anything..at times i wondered if my hormonal balance was alright? Not my fault..you see.. In standard 9..i discovered that  liking guys is normal...phew..Not that i want to sound naive and stupid nor ignorant..but then thats the way it is! The crux of the problem is i still don't have one-sometimes facts are stranger than fiction!! :p
P.S all reading this should definitely share their own story!

Girls are most complex creations-complex than those chemical reactions and carbon compounds, taught in chemistry! Our heart "CRASHES" occur as rapidly as Ranbir Kapoor changes his girlfriends!  (the Kapoor family has really contributed to my blog today :p ) Reasons are manifold- how could you forget my birthday, anniversary, the day we met?.. you are always late on a date, busy with work..you don't love me anymore..you are bored of me..blah blah..(all these i learnt through gossips-see its power and the amount of knowledge and experience it adds to your life!) But in stark contrast to this we change from demanding girlfriends to dedicated wives..from suspicious girlfriends to considerate mothers.. from being dad's princess to a home-maker...from jealous friends to children's best friends.. above all.. giving up all just to be with one and give him all!!

We are a myriad sea of expressions..the producer of life..the foundation of a happy house..the pillar of someone's life..we are born to give and forgive!! We are still the world's greatest mystery...so we make good "mummies"!! (not the egyptian ones..ofcourse..!! )


 footnote:- Actually...a girl's dream is not to find the perfect guy for her..but her real dream is to eat without getting fat!! :p ha ha

reflections-then and now!!

DISCLAIMER:- this is certainly not a theatrical trailer to the dramatic events of my life..but a small window to bring out the "real me"..no mirror image!! ;)

everyone in India ,at some point of his\her life has felt that their life-story would definitely make a hit 'masala' Bollywood movie..Reason? we are born filmy!! Such thoughts have randomly rung bells in my mind since i was a child of 10...the movies then were so very thought-provoking that the dialogues constantly hammered my brain even when i sat to do my homework!! Hats off to my innocence, when i secretly wept , seeing the hero-heroine being separated..extremely glad when they shared a beautiful chemistry (didn't know then what  "chemistry" meant-it was some kind of a subject which i was supposed to hate in future..as narrated by my cousins!! ha ha) or a romantic song .. about which i wasn't supposed to discuss (as my brains instructed) because i felt it was a "sin" to do so or may be its a sign of adulthood!!  (however, of late films like jism, murder and the dirty picture..cleared all my misconceptions..!! ;) )


Being an adult is no fun!! WHY?? There's always a mature mind and an experienced heart creating an emotional-divide within! Where my mind is much more predominant than my heart, where my principles are rigid enough to rule me, where i am always called "someone's daughter" and will be called "someone's wife", where i am allowed to be "myself" but then it's not about being "me", where innocence is lost and practicality plays havoc with me, when trying too hard is termed "desperation" and giving up earns you the tag of a "looser"!!

Life then and now has undergone drastic changes..!! But the "child" in me is so eager to vent out!! ha ha
I want to say "i care a damn, but why the active brain makes me practical again?" why can't the life be filmy again!! Where there's a happy ending always, where the hero-heroine always find a way out, where the hero always wins over the villain!

Negativity breeds so easily. Any sad and sentimental song seems so very receptive to our ears! Is it because we are all emotional fools? Why do we take our lives so seriously? we want everything permanently in our temporary life..we strive for perfection when it can never happen.. we live life on someone else's terms..we want to make everyone happy..all the world is a rat-race..and we are a part of it..and ultimately all are caught in the mouse-traps!!

Whenever i tried to end the World War-III within me....a World War -IV  followed!!may be it's human nature..emotions always keep on fighting the Battle of Panipat..!! Truly, life doesn't come with a user-manual..so i am making mistakes and still searching for all my answers that obviously lies within me.. hope i discover them soon and shout "EUREKA"
     
one life..too many expectations!! Lets simplify it!! A well-lived today ensures a better tomorrow! keep smiling and keep blogging!